Tender Loving Care

How It Starts:

John Hurt yes John Hurt recruits you as some sort of time-travelling fly-on-the-wall psychiatrist who watches a Shannon Tweed-style soft-core sex romp. (If you don't know who Shannon Tweed is then Google her - or, again, watch 2002-era late-night Channel 5.) There's a mental lady who doesn't want to admit her daughter is dead, her beleaguered husband and a sexy blonde psychologist who's been hired to constantly undo and do up her loose-fitting pom-blouse.

How It Works:

You watch the (actually, quite well acted) movies, snoop around a 3D recreation of the house and prepare for mild titillation at its most titillating-est John Hurt gives you a psychoanalytical test every now and then on what you think is going on, or shows you a bunch of Edward Hopper paintings and asks you sex questions. That's right sex questions. "Do you like watching people through windows?" "What's more important sex or food? "How much would you say you think about sex?" "Sexy sex-sex, sex?"

Rude-O-Meter:

Really rude actually. Answer the questions in a certain pattern, essentially clicking the button that says 'pwhoar!' when requested, then you get to see naughty stuff. So if you've been a prude then you'll see the blonde psychologist with her bra on, and if you've been a wide-eyed sexpest then it'll be totally off! Who knew that the mysteries of the brain could prompt such fluttering of eyelids and knickerless uncrossing of legs?

Actorshave Also Appeared In:

The mad lady has been in something called The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit, the woman who takes her clothes off has been in an episode of Acapulco H.E.A.T. and John Hurt has been in tons of good stuff, obviously, like V For Vendetta.