Total Club Manager 2004

Having already monopolised virtually every area of sport, last year EA finally made a half-decent football management game with the surprisingly passable Total Club Manager 2003. And in a move that will surprise nobody, this year sees the conveyor belt spit out the inevitable sequel. Having said that, sequel is perhaps too strong a word for this, as when it comes to sports games, EA generally opts for a spot-the-difference update.

At first glance this would appear to be the case here, but a closer look reveals something more mystifying. Rather than update it, EA appears to have backdated it, as there are players present in some of the squads who left some four years ago. Throw in some of the more recent acquisitions, and you’re presented with something of a super-squad, an absurd proposition that undermines one of the key areas of the genre.

Deary Deary Me

Even overlooking that heinous crime, it’s a cumbersome affair. The interface is ugly and unwieldy, particularly compared to the clean lines ot Championship Manager: Season 03/04, the management game against which all others should be judged. After a couple of weeks of Sports Interactive’s masterpiece, playing this is like wearing someone else’s clothes.

Even when you’ve waded through the mire, switching off the superfluous merchandising options (and the wholly inappropriate pounding dance music), it’s still hard work, betraying its German origins with some idiotic ideas. Example? Your squad's morale is boosted when they receive a free magazine subscription. Yeah, thanks for that.

The FIFA engine-based action looks OK, but there’s never a sense that it bears any relation to the alternative text engine. Ultimately, there’s more integrity in the animated dots of CM: Season 03/04 than there is in the 3D-accelerated players of TCM 2004, even those that have the right skin colour. The crux of a football management game is creating the belief that the decisions you make affect the outcome of matches, and this is rarely the case here.

Numbers Game

There also appear to be more fundamental issues. For instance, following a match that my team lost 4-1, my goalkeeper received a rating of nine out of ten and was subsequently named in the Team Of The Day along with three of my defenders.

TCM 2004 is a mess of a game, and a blight on EA Sports’ generally exemplary range. The sooner it drops it like the hot shit it is, the better for everyone involved. Sports Interactive’s deal with Eidos is over, and it can only be a matter of time before someone from EA turns up on the doorstep offering a giant cheque. Until that event happens, avoid this like Emmerdale.

Total Club Manager 2004 is a soccer coach simulation game where the player will manage his own soccer team, control the physical performance of the athletes, monitor public opinion, and talk to the media. The manager will buy soccer legends to strengthen the national team and take it to the top of the world table.

Gameplay

The player chooses a profile picture. Then looks at what difficulty the game feels suitable for you:

• Cool and rich national team - the easy option.
• Casual team - for risky guys
• Weak and beggarly position - harder to find

Make organizational decisions: you can share experiences, talk to journalists, and hire support staff.

Reap the fruits of fame or suffer while watching the broadcast:

• 3D Match
• Text Mode
• Fast match with the best moments

Evaluation

The goal of a high-ranked coach is to coach a sports team effectively. Such a mentor sees the weaknesses of his opponents and outplays them in a fair fight. Whisper right tactics in a goalie's ear, yell at a bad coach, study a subordinate's medical records and talk to a personal doctor - the fine art of sports nuance and diplomacy skills.