The Rite stuff
After emerging from the Dining Hall, go to the High Energy Facility in the University grounds. Get the bellows and the magnet from the shelves and floor near Skazz, and get the test tube from the centre of the machine on the desk. Picking up the test tube will de-bug the machine so it no longer works, but don't worry about it now as you'll fix it later. Talk with Skazz about everything and brace yourself for some really bad computer gags. Let the groan out. It's therapeutic. Leave the University Grounds and find the Shop (it moves around the map). When inside, collect the flamingo, the stuffed fish and the incense. Look at the candles on the shelf, then talk to the old woman. Ask her about candles.
Leave the Shop and proceed to the Fools' Guild which was destroyed in the intro. Pick up the hooter on the floor. Look at the Fool, then talk to him. Ask him about everything.
Pick up the brick on the left of the screen, and then use it on the Fool. Then go down the hole into the sewers. Go left, and then use the bellows on the grate - this will allow the Milkmaid to do an impromptu Marilyn Monroe impression. This will also provide you with Glitter Dust, which is one of the five quest items for Act I.
Go right again, and then climb back up. Go to the Plaza and talk with Dibbler. Ask him about everything. When you are done, you should have collected some popcorn and a brochure from him. Now go to the Shades.
After a brief, meaningless conversation with the Death Of Rats, proceed to the Troll's Head. Talk to the troll behind the bar and you'll get a tankard of beer for your trouble. Use the beer on the popcorn to soak it in alcohol and then talk to Casanunda. Ask him about everything, but do make sure you ask him about his ladder.
Go left and collect the matches before talking to the vampire. Ask him about everything, and then leave the Troll's Head and walk left to the Mortuary. Once you're inside, get the knife from the slops tray, and then look at Granny. You try and talk to her, but unfortunately she's comatose and you have just found Casanunda's greatest challenge. Return to the Troll's Head and tell Casanunda about Granny. He will give you his ladder as a sign of his thanks (try not to think too much about where it's been, though...)
Leave the Troll's Head and walk all the way left until you come to Mrs Cakes. Enter, and take a look at the genie bottle on the shelf by the door.
Talk with Mrs Cake. She will anticipate what you are about to ask and will answer you before you get a chance to say anything, so click the icons in this order: sarcasm, question, muse, greet. You can now talk to her normally. Ask her everything. She will tell you that you can have the genie bottle providing you find her some ectoplasm. Walk to the left, open the closet and get the ironing board. Also, pick up the scissors and the petticoat. Now return to Unseen University. Go to the High Energy Facility. Throw the brick at the accelerator; this will cause the ghost to splatter ectoplasm all over you.
Leave and go to the Garden. Walk right and use the alcohol-drenched corn on the rooster to catch it. Go around the corner and use the magnet on the imp to get its boots.
Leave the University Grounds and go to the Docks. Look at the bird, then use the stuffed fish on the water. Now pick up the bird and use the knife on the net so that you can pick up the hammerhead shark. Return to the Garden in Unseen University.
Use the shark on the Bursar's mallet. Use the flamingo on the Dean's mallet. Use the wading bird on the Librarian's mallet. Voila!
Three Sticks of equal length, your second quest item. Leave the University again and go to the far right of the Shades. Get the pot and the saw. Use the rooster on the can to sober it up. Then go to Gimlets, over on the right. Get the chilli from the table and operate the menu. Then talk to Gimlet. Ask him about everything and order a mouse-burger (Yum).
Return to the Troll's Head. Use the rooster on the vampire. This will make him think that it's dawn and he'll return to his coffin. In the meantime, return to Mrs Cakes and give her the ectoplasm. Go back outside. Walk all the way right and look at Foul Ole Ron's Vile Smell. Use the boots on the Smell. Use the boots in the genie bottle, then use the baited bottle to capture the Smell. You now have your third quest item.
Leave the Shades and make your way to the Cemetery. Get the pick from the floor and talk to the Suffrajester. Continue to the right until you meet Windle. After a brief conversation you will enter the tomb. Use the ladder which is on the slab to climb up and get the teeth. Use the teeth on the mouse, then use the bloody teeth on the test tube. This gives you Mouse Blood, your fourth quest item.
Leave the Cemetery, and return once again to the Unseen University's Garden. Walk towards the left and talk to the beekeeper about everything, then give him the film brochure. He will then depart in a hurry to make a elickie about bees.
Set fire to the incense and then use the petticoat on Rincewind as a veil. Use the incense on the bees to persuade them to get out of the way. Operate the hive to grab some beeswax and use the pot on the hive to get some honey.
Return to the Shop and give the wax to the old woman. She will tell you it's not dribbly enough to make proper dribbly candles. Go back to the Garden and use the chilli on the flower bush; then pick up some dribbly wax in the same way as before. Go back to the Shop and give it to the old woman. This gives you Dribbly Candles, your final quest item for Act I. Return to the Unseen University Dining Hall.
Give the blood, mallets, vile smell, glitter dust and dribbly candles to the Arch-Chancellor and watch the cut-scene. It's now down to you to go and find Death. Death into a movie. You will need novelties, a babe, a jingle and a band to play the jingle. Thus begins Act II, Part II. Go to Holy Wood. Enter the Castle. This is the Costume department. Look at the horse suit before talking to the dwarf of questionable sexuality. Ask her about the horse suit.
Leave. Pick up the one-ton weight and operate the mailbox. Then enter Makeup (by the piano). Watch the cut-scene and leave again. Go right, pick up the camera and look at the lazy imp. Ask the trainer about the imp, then watch what it does.
Leave Holy Wood and go to Djelibcybi. Go to the Camel dealership. Look at the camels, and then talk to the salesman. Greet him, then ask about camels. You now happen to be the proud owner of one of these revolting creatures, you lucky fella.
Walk to the left and enter the Shop. Talk with the architect, then take the poster from the wall. Now leave, and go further left. Talk with D'Blah about everything. Then have a natter with Uri Djeller about jingles, and the Cartwheel will appear on your map. Look at the Candy Rock, then talk to the Rock Seller about it. Just as Rincewind is about to buy it, the Mystic Temptresses Of The East will steal it. Go up to the stoning grounds. Pick up the stake. Go back to Djelibeybi and use your camel. Then go to the Hill. Talk with Bone Idle about the jingle, then use the knife on him to set him free. You now have the Band which is part of what you need for the jingle.
Now go to the Pyramid. Pick up the gluepot from the floor and cut the mummy's bandage with the scissors. Bandage the wooden arm. then go to the Oasis and use the bandaged wooden arm on the rotten arm. Operate the rotten arm to get the ring. Notice that the vultures are now following you because you are carrying their property - this will become more relevant later. Return to Holy Wood, and go to the Costume department (the Castle). Give the ring to the dwarf. After a slightly disturbing experience, you will no doubt be delighted by the fact that you now own a horse costume. Use the glue on the hooter then stick it to the horse suit. You have just made a unicorn suit Now make your way to XXXX (it's on the left edge of map). Look at the bent sticks and baskets, then talk to Dibbjla. You will get a boomerang. Try to pick up a basket, then talk with Dibbjla again and ask him about baskets. Now leave and go back to Holy Wood again. Dip the boomerang in the paint in the ILM area, then chuck it at the imp in the set when he appears. Use the imp on your camera and return to XXXX.
Saw the legs of the ironing board and then smother it in glue. Use your new surfboard on the waves on the sea. When you arrive in the cave, use the camera on the paintings and then return to Boncdie Beach to leave XXXX.
Now go to the Cartwheel, and talk with ST Ungulant Ask him about jingles. He will send you away to find out "Why??". Go to Ankh-Morpork, Unseen University. Dining Hall. Use the hamper on the food and ask the librarian about the unicorn costume. Use the librarian on the unicorn suit. He will take the front end. and you will have a convenient disguise for later on. Now go to the Garden. Pick up the now unused croquet hoops and then go round the corner to where the compost heap is. Talk with the Suffrajester, then show her the stake you 'liberated' from Djelibeybi. After that, put the stake in the compost heap. Pick her up and put her in the Luggage (try not to think too hard about the scientific implications of this action).
Return to Djelibeybi and go back to the stoning area. Use the Suffrajester on the hole in the floor and watch the 'Gratuitous Python Scene'. After a long series of really bad jokes, pick up the Candy Rock and put it in the Luggage, then get the rope from the floor and return to Djelibeybi. Give the croquet hoops to Uri Djeller who will strain a bit before straightening them out to form some metal sticks. Use these new sticks on the pyramid plans to make a scale model time-accelerating pyramid.
Now leave and go back to XXXX. Go all the way right and to the cliff top. Use the stuffed hamper on the ant hill before returning to the High Energy Facility in Ankh-Morpork.
Talk to Skazz about everything under the sun, and then reintroduce the bugs to HEX by using the infested hamper on it. The ants will be reluctant to come out, so entice them into HEX using the honey pot. Now have another chat with Skazz. Ask about The Question again. Skazz will tell you The Answer will be ready in a 'jiffy' - a common contraction of the Klatchian word Jifficitra, meaning 'aeon' or 'age of the world'. This obviously isn't any good to you whatsoever... so remember what D'Blah told you earlier about Pyramid Power.
Pyramids have the effect of changing the flow of time, either speeding it up or slowing it down. Get Rincewind (the pointy-hatted, dress-wearing magic geezer) to put the spanky new time-accelerating pyramid on HEX. Now ask Skazz about The Question again. After a short delay. The Answer will come out of HEX. Take it to ST Ungulant at the Cartwheel who will present you with the Jingle.
Now go back to Ankh-Morpork. Go to the Docks. Use the one-ton weight on the hook, and then push it. Then use the '10' sticker on the weight to transform it into a ten-ton weight. Push it again, and pick up the snow storms. These are the Novelties you need.
Go to the Mortuary in the Shades. Talk with Casanunda and send him away to visit the Mystic Temptresses Of The East Now talk with Granny Weatherwax about Elves and she will reveal the location of the Forest on your map. Go there. Put the camera into Rincewind's inventory, then use the unicorn suit on the stone circle. The Luggage cannot follow you through, so you can only carry the items you need. Use the suit on Rincewind (how he stored the Librarian away is anyone's guess), and the dynamic duo will rush off to the Elven Castle. Use the camera on the Elf Queen, then leave and go to the Make-up Department in Holy Wood.
Give the film of the Elf Queen to the make-up girl, then leave the Make-up Department. Exit to the right Look at the door, then operate it and talk with the troll. Ask him about the key. Unlock the door and open it, but don't go in.
Give the Candy Rock to the troll. Use the rope on the troll to pull out his diamond tooth. Now enter the trailer and talk with the Milkmaid. Give her the troll's tooth as a 'little fwiend' for her rinq. Then leave and walk upwards.
Give the band, jingle, babe and snow storms to Dibbler and sit back and enjoy the cut-scene showcasing Death's magnificent acting talent. End of the Act? You might think so, but there's no rest for the weary... Death wants a stunt double - and guess who has to find one? Go to the Shades in Ankh-Morpork. Walk to the far left where you'll see a door up some steps. Knock on it by operating it, and you will be told that you can only come in if you are dead. Now use the death certificate on the door to prove you are indeed dead and therefore qualify for membership to Reg Shoe's Fresh Start Club. There are plenty of people in here, but you don't need to talk to any of them. (You can if you want to though... Jeez!)
Open the closet and have a conversation with the Black Sheep. Tell it about being a stunt double, and then show it the film of the sheep paintings. Voila! One stunt sheep. Put your feet up and watch the cut-scene.
When the film has finished showing, pick up the rear film reel. Use it on the splicing machine to the left, then splice in the remaining Elf Queen footage before replacing the reel on the projector. Death will suddenly become very popular... but he doesn't want his old job back, so therefore it's up to Rincewind to temporarily fill in for him...
The grim Rincewind
This one's fairly straightforward, and nowhere near as long as Act II. Go to Death's house. Operate the mat to get a key. Open the door and enter. Get the scythe from the umbrella stand, and pick up the curtains at the bottom left.
Go through the left door into the kitchen and talk with Albert. Pick up the oily rag and set fire to it. Then open the pot-bellied stove and leave. Go through the right-hand door into the Library. Look at the books which are floating in midair until you find Rincewind's. Pick it up and go back out.
Climb the stairs and exit to the left into Susan's bedroom. Pick up the bunny, and operate it to get the lacy pyjamas. Leave Susan's room and exit at the bottom to Death's Study Get the inkwell off Death's desk and pull the cord. Now quickly go back to the Kitchen and take the sugar bowl.
Go outside to the Stables and pick up the rope. Smear the saddle with glue, then give the sugar to Binky. Now operate the sticky saddle to place it on Binky, then operate Binky for a magnificent display of horsemanship. Go back to the front of the house. Use the boomerang on the rope, then use the resulting item on the chimney. Operate the chimney to climb up, then operate it again to use The Voice. Climb back down, exit to the right and go to the Garden.
Use the pyjamas on Rincewind. Use the burning rag on the bees. Sound familiar? Yes, do the same as before... pick up some beeswax and some honey. Walk to the right and dye the pond black using the inkwell. Dip the curtains in the pond to make a robe that's blacker than black.
Get the fishing rod from the gnome, and use the honey pot on the fishing rod. Look at the toy cart, then talk with Susan and ask her about it Then give her your life-book. But no, Rincewind's life isn't exciting enough, so you have to find a really old one - we'll do this in a minute.
Go further right and use the baited fishing rod on the dots. These are the souls of Skazz's ants which were killed earlier and they'll be relevant later. Go back into the kitchen in the house and show the scythe to Albert.
Go back to Susan's room. Get the string from the dresser and use it on the beeswax to make a black candle. Light it and put it in Rincewind's inventory window.
Go back to the Library. Unlock the alcove on the right with the little key, and enter. Use the candle on the Alcove tag to light your way. Find the loose tablet (it has a different tag) and take it, then return to the Garden. Hand the tablet over to Susan, who will finally be satisfied.
Now leave the Garden and walk to the foreground. Walk right to a field of corn, and use the scythe on it. Rincewind's back hurts, so make things easier for him by using the scythe on the toy cart. Now use the new Reaper on the corn. Then go back to the kitchen. Show the robe to Albert and watch the cut-scene. Exciting, isn't it? Go back into the kitchen and give the pot of ant souls to Albert. Congratulations, Rincewind is now Death - The Ultimate Reality. The Assassin Against Whom No Lock Will Hold and the best cure for the terminally ill (it says here). Watch the cut-scene and the plot to kill Death will be revealed in all its glory...
Till Death us do part
Go to Bonestock. Extract the cork from Death's hat, and then leave again. Proceed to Djelibeybi. Walk to the left until you clap eyes on Casanunda. Walk around a little near the shop (but don't go in) until the Explorer arrives. Quickly go over to his camel and search his saddlebag to find a canteen. Then put the rotten arm in the saddlebag. Don't forget though, the vultures are following this grisly limb.
Follow the Explorer to the Fountain Of Youth. Walk left and look at the fountain. Fill the canteen with Youth Water - it's very important that you remember to do this! Plug the fountain with the cork and scoop up the sand with Death's hourglass. You have just saved Death's life, so sit back and watch the Term/nofor-esque Gratuitous 3D Scene. The assassin will now try to kill Rincewind, but Death will save him. That's Act IV. Easy, wasn't it?
Watch the cut-scene, including Death's wonderful movie. Rincewind will automatically splice in the Elf Queen as before, but then something dreadful will happen. When the Elf Queen appears, the party will follow her to the Tower Of Art. She is holding the Librarian hostage. When Rincewind turns up, look at the Tower, and then look at the raven. Now talk to Granny Weathcrwax about the raven. She will 'borrow' its mind and be unaware that you are 'borrowing' her broomstick.
Talk with Dibbler about everything, and buy some bladders. Fill them up with Youth Water and put them into Rincewind's inventory window. Finally, use the broom on Rincewind to take off, and you'll be able to vanquish the Elf Queen and save the day. And then of course they all live happily ever after. The end!
Some people fail to find Terry Pratchett's novels amusing. Be warned - if you fall into this category, own a PC and play Discworld II, you could unwittingly find yourself liking and buying his unending series of books. You see, it's a great game. And that - whether you love or loathe him - is fact.
Discworld I was a superb game. A little difficult, perhaps, but superb all the same. And as should be the case with such things, the sequel is even better. Not only has the 'hard-bastard' factor been lowered, but the graphics have been tweaked and the irksome puzzles of the original ditched in favour of quests which are more relevant to the story. Non-adventuring types will no doubt heave a sigh of relief to find that they might actually have a clue what to do with their bizarre inventory - gone are the days when you had to combine a weasel with a pair of knickers to open a door.
If you hadn't guessed already, this point-and-dicker once again puts you back in the role of reluctant hero Rincewind. His task is to seek out and help Death who, by the hand of bored terrorist faction, has gone missing. Of course, (un) expected events chuck spanners in the works and it soon becomes apparent that you have to do more than just find things and blindly see if they fit together.
The zany plot is well-crafted over the four episodes, and the animated cast is brought to life by some exceptional British talent namely Eric Idle and Nigel Planer. There may be too much dialogue for some people, and the humour doesn't always hit home, but if you're a Pratchett fan you'll love it - and if you're not you soon will be. Discworld II is simply one of the best adventure games ever created.
Download Discworld II
Systems: Windows 9x, Windows 2000 Windows XP, Vista, Win 7, Win 8, Win 10.
Game features:Single game mode
Discworld II Screenshots and Media
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